The Rambler newsletter
Vol. II
Welcome to the second edition of The Rambler’s biweekly newsletter! We’ve been Transylvania University’s student-run newspaper since 1915, providing an outlet for the passions and opinions of the Transy student body. Check out our links to three recent articles: a powerful meditation on bearing witness to the horrors of ICE, a personal essay on objects of desire, and the latest in our series on AI at campus. In this week’s featured article Jerrod Croley offers a season preview of the highly anticipated new season of Transy Intramural Basketball. Read the whole thing below!
UPCOMING EVENTS: This Thursday, Feb. 12, The Rambler is hosting “Lights, Letters, and Love,” a Valentine’s event in Pio Rooms C and D! Join us at 7 p.m. to make your own Valentine’s envelopes, paint LED candles, and enjoy Insomnia cookies with friends in the season of love!
A Change is Gonna Come: Maintaining Hope as ICE Runs Rampant—Annie Kunkel on honoring the stories of lives cut short and facing the terrifying truth.
Why Boobs When Blu-Ray: The Objects of My Desire—Allie Conover on coming out as asexual and her obsession with physical media.
The Creepy Popularity of Character.ai— Lucid Laudenbach on the disturbing things that happen when “character chatbots” are modeled after whoever or whatever you want.
Bats v. Bats: Intramural Glory is on the Line as the 2026 Basketball Season Kicks Off
Disclosure: Jerrod Croley has no conflict of interest whatsoever, he is merely the captain of Garnet, one of the teams ready to rumble in the A-League this season.
Like many in Lexington, I have been less than impressed with the mighty Wildcats’ play this season (admittedly that’s coming from a salty Tennessee fan). Thankfully, the real show starts Monday night with the season opener of the Greatest Show on North Broadway: Transy intramural basketball.
Intramural hoops: perfect for out-of-season athletes and ex-high-school athletes who think to themselves, “I still got it”—only to find out they don’t still got it five minutes into the first half. I am a proud member of the latter camp. And I could not be more excited for the upcoming season.
The competition is divided between two leagues: The A-League, which features the most competitive squads, and the B-League, made up of good-vibes co-ed teams and sororities seeking intramural glory. Full props to the commissioner Jasmine Fletcher: This year, there’s a stellar assortment of talent on the court, with both leagues presenting top notch ball clubs.
The A-League
The A-League is anchored by storied programs seeking to hang another banner, like KA, Pike, and Phi Tau. It’s no secret fraternities take intramural sports seriously; on Transy’s campus, the games are like the SEC regular season: “It just means more.” Unlike the rivalries you see on TV, there won’t be any jersey swaps or off-season collabs—just good ole fashioned hate. Watch out for the annual matchup between KA Gold and Pike Gold that diehards call The Bid Day Brawl. KA says they aren’t scared of anyone, Pike says they have that match up circled in red.
But watch out for newer upstart teams like the Gooney Tunes and Lebron’s Disciples, both made up largely of soccer players, who faced off in last year’s Final. It was a familiar battle, far from the pitch, as once-teammates became bitter rivals on the hardwood. The matchup came as a shock to the historic titans of Transy intramurals—and represented a clear sign that the fraternity conditioning coaches had to adapt in order to keep up with the HCAC champs.
Under the guidance of esteemed coach Jacob Miller, Lebron’s Disciples easily took down their futbol brethren to take the crown. The on-court chemistry between the Gudorf brothers—Collen, known as “the General,” and Ethan, known as “Big-E”—helped the Disciples handily beat the Tunes for the franchise’s first ever championship. This year, will the high-flying Gudorf brothers, along with Coach Miller drawing the plays, cement themselves as a Transy dynasty? Or will the Gooney boys, or another contender in the A-league, deny the Disciples a history-making repeat? ?
The B-League
They may claim to be less competitive (at least until the whistle blows), but the B-league is on the come up, from sorority showdowns to a potential dynasty with the Delta Sig Ballers.
The boys from Sig battled in the A-League last year but decided their energy ran more to B this season after star John Buckle took his talents to Phi Tau A. How will the Chi Omega Hoopies—longtime B-League stalwarts—handle the new kids on the block? Already there has been some animosity between D SIG and CHI O. Standout D SIG sophomore Cash “Money” Doolin called out a few of the Hoopies starters by name (see card above for just how ruthless the trash talk is getting).
Meanwhile, no B team feels more urgency than the UNCs, a team full of seniors. These guys have one season, the last dance before graduation, the real world, J-O-B-S, and everything that comes with being a certified UNC. Will these guys bring that B-league championship home or mourn what might have been in the nursing home?
This Is Your Captain Speaking
Last year the intramural world was introduced to the ragtag soccer-team crew of the Gooney Tunes. Naysayers see them as nothing but wanna-be big timers, but some campus takesters see them as real-deal contenders. The Rambler spoke with team captain Gus “Killer Cameraman” Dickman to see how the Tunes are thinking about the season to come.
Gus: Yo, what’s up brodie
Rambler: How are the Gooney Tunes feeling about the upcoming season?
G: The Gooney Tunes are optimistic. We have a star transfer this year that we’re hoping to utilize from beyond the arc. We feel like we left a lot to prove after last year, and we’ve been working very hard this offseason to bounce back and show what we are capable of.
R: What is your team vibe/ a song that encapsulates the team?
G: We like to have fun out there. Our theme song is obviously the Looney Tunes theme song—however, this year I’d say something more fitting is “Back in Blood.” We’re on our revenge tour to say the least.
R: I love it! Are there any pre-game rituals that get your guys locked in?
G: We arrive to the game together as a team. Someone always brings a speaker. We have to make sure the entire Beck Center hears our music as we walk in. For those who know, we look like McNeese walking into the 2025 NCAA basketball tournament with Amir Kahn.
R: What is a game that is underlined in red on the schedule?
G: Definitely our matchup against LeBron’s Disciples. They took us out last year—so we’re ready for revenge.
R: Let’s hear some trash talk straight from the Gooney Tunes.
G: Gooney Tunes like to keep it chill and save it for the court. But…just know we taking home the chip—no doubt about it.
Asked about Dickman’s comments, LeBron’s Disciples star Collen “the General” Gudorf said he had a lot of respect for the Goon squad. “But they said the same thing after the first game last year,” he said. “And look what happened in the playoffs.”
Blind? Deaf? Have You Thought About Being a Ref?
When you think of intramural play, your mind probably goes to the athletes. But this forgets a key component of the league: the student refs. An old saying goes, “a great referee is one you can’t see.” But the refs at intramural games seem to have mixed up the cliché. As far as I can tell, they can’t see at all.
The Rambler spoke with two referees to dig deep into the inexperience of our officials. They asked to remain anonymous, both to maintain the integrity of their role as officials and out of fear that if their names got out, their initials were going straight to YikYak—or worse.
“I’m not really sure what to expect,” said one referee, a newcomer this year. “I’m not gonna call anything unless I see blood.” I admire the honesty because the second referee, when asked what the price of bribery was, said he could be bought off with “a crisp 50 dollar bill.” While these confessions were telling, they weren’t surprising—intramural sports is like a night in Whitley County jail: a free-for-all that leaves you with great stories but sore the next morning.
For the Love of the Game
Great basketball needs one more element along with players and refs: The fans.
Sure, you could flip on an NBA game and see all-stars windmill dunk. You could walk down the street and see a historic D1 program.
Or you could swipe in at Beck any given Monday, Tuesday, or Thursday night and see guys and girls play with heart. No shoe deals, no NIL, no contract negotiations—pure basketball.
And let me tell you something, I have talked to a few team captains, and whether you like it or not they’re going for it all—they’ll shoot, score, foul, and claw to hold that trophy. One thing they all agree on: everything is going to be left on the court this season.
Power Rankings
Developing power rankings is the most ambitious project The Rambler has taken on in years. We consulted sports writers, coaches, oracles, adjuncts, and freelance pundits. We then used a complicated regression analysis developed by Dr. Michael “The Sabermetrician of Gratz Park” Kelly, then let the numbers cool in Rafinesque’s tomb.
A-League Preseason Power Rankings
1. LeBron’s Disciples
The soccer team boys are reigning champs, bringing back the Gudorf brothers, Coach Miller, and now they’ve added youngsters like Seth Hickerson in the off-season.
2. Garnet
This Pike & bros squad has got some DAWGS in the paint (a.k.a the writer of this article–bite me).
3. Gold Team
The Kappa Alpha crew is physical down low—an older team with experience to go around.
4. Phi Tau A
The addition of John Buckle significantly helps Phi Kappa Tau’s finest around the arc. Dangerous on runs.
5. Gooney Tunes
Another soccer squad, and last year’s runner-up. The loss of Shelton “Shoota” Smith was significant, but this championship-caliber team picked up five-star prospect Daniel Mullins in the off-season.
6. Pike Gold
The loss of seniors hurts Pike’s odds, but the acquisition of Shelton “Shoota” Smith and the development of other long-range bombers like Gavin Sheets helps their chances.
7. GOATS
Young team made up of Kappa Alpha freshmen that bring raw talent and size but lack experience in this league.
8. Crimson Team
Sleeper team, led by George “the King” Thacker—this Kappa Alpha team of sneaky athletic guys might shock the world.
B-League Preseason Power Rankings
1. Ball Ticklers
Bringing women’s soccer athleticism together with dominant track and field power—can beat you in the paint and in fast breaks.
2. One Finger Wonder
Young team of women’s soccer players that has all the facets of a championship team: depth, chemistry, and athleticism.
3. Delta Sig Ballerz
A collection of BALLERZ that bring with them A-League experience and guidance from upperclassmen John “Rage’n Cajun” Mantooth.
4. Team of Friendship and Dreams
Athletic squad from Phi Kappa Tau that brings size in the paint and years of veteran experience.
5. Hoopies
Energetic crew from Chi Omega that brings the vibes.
6. Delta Sig Hoopers
A crew of athletes that are well known around Transy Swim and Dive, but unclear if Cash “Money” Doolin and Cole “K-Swiz” Brannock can get the job done.
7. Cutie Pi’s
A crowd favorite, this group of athletes from Alpha Omicron Pi seem cute but will kill on the court.
8. The UNCs
A decrypted crew of Pike boomers; Robbie “Big Scary” Crady and Jackson “Prez” Holt try to make up for the lack of youth with experience.
Keep an eye out this month for the upcoming print copy release later this month… date to be announced soon!
The Rambler will have an open meeting Thursday, Feb. 19 in Rosie. Open to everyone, feel free to join us! There will be pizza, and it will be free.
Email Rambler@transy.edu with questions, ideas, or hot tips!